01282 947927

Called me from this Burnley number saying they were from EE - due to 3/4G networks being removed my SIM card would need updated. I immediately took on my persona for dealing with scammers - a wily farmer from Cullybackey, which has two advantages: (1) they think I'm thick; and (2) the rural Co Antrim accent is impenetrable so it takes up a huge amount of their time as they get me to repeat myself ad nauseam. At one point the caller told me my accent was 'very hard to understand' which, considering hers was pure Karachi, I thought was a bit of a cheek. Anyway once she thought I was hooked, she transferred me to her 'manager', another broad Karachi accent who called himself 'Gerry'. Anyway, Gerry and I had a grand old chat - I went into enormous detail about my cattle herd and how important it was that my phone was working properly when I was far off in the Glens with the cows. Gerry got more and more irate as he kept trying to wheedle out my details as I filled him in - at length - about the terrible cost of Veterinary surgeons in Ulster. At one point he became utterly exasperated and said 'I know what you're trying to do'. At that point I confirmed that I, too, knew what he was trying to do. He terminated the call. Very pleasing.

Pretended to be EE and told me my SIM will expire within 24-48 hours.

Claimed to be from EE and said my number was about to be disconnected and a new SIM card was going to be issued tomorrow (on a Sunday?), asked me to hold while they transferred me, so I hung up.